Alcohol Makes You a Stronger, Louder, More Efficient American Killing Machine

Before we saw the Die Hard franchise, we thought alcohol was just something to get our moms through their pregnancies. Based on the Gospel according to McClane, however, we now know that you don’t need assistance, shoes, a badge or even a reasonable excuse to blow up anyone or anything that (maybe) interferes with your God-given right to live free and/or die hard; you just need a socially degenerative drinking habit.

Black People Can’t Wait to Help You

Whether you’re murdering a guy for holding your wife hostage or simply murdering that same guy’s brother for no good reason, there will undoubtedly be a zany black stereotype who just can’t wait to help you. If you’re driving around Harlem and you need directions or a light, well you’re screwed. But if you need someone to follow you around all day and help you blow up terrorists, there will be a line of eager, wacky black folks who want nothing more than to quit their jobs and help you while pointing out the subtle differences between black and white people.

Man that was an awesome list, head on over to have a read if you wanna.

AFI took up some time on CBS announcing all the ballots and votes etc. for the films on the list. Well I should probably stop rambling on and show you the list, so here it is…

100. Ben-Hur (1959)
99. Toy Story (1995)
98. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
97. Blade Runner (1982)
96. Do the Right Thing (1989)
95. The Last Picture Show (1971)
94. Pulp Fiction (1994)
93. The French Connection(1971)
92. Goodfellas (1990)
91. Sophie’s Choice (1982)
90. Swing Time (1936)
89. The Sixth Sense (1999)
88. Bringing Up Baby (1938)
87. 12 Angry Men (1957)
86. Platoon (1986)
85. A Night at the Opera (1935)
84. Easy Rider (1969)
83. Titanic (1997)
82. Sunrise (1927)
81. Spartacus (1960)
80. The Apartment (1960)

79. The Wild Bunch (1969)
78. Modern Times (1936)
77. All the President’s Men (1976)
76. Forest Gump (1994)
75. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
74. Silence of the Lambs (1991)
73. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
72. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
71. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
70. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
69. Tootsie (1982)
68. Unforgiven (1992)
67. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)
66. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
65. The African Queen (1951)
64. Network (1976)
63. Cabaret (1972)
62. American Graffiti (1973)
61. Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
60. Duck Soup (1933)
59. Nashville (1975)
58. The Gold Rush (1925)
57. Rocky (1976)
56. Jaws (1975)
55. North By Northwest (1959)
54. M*A*S*H* (1970)
53. The Deer Hunter (1978)
52. Taxi Driver (1976)
51. West Side Story (1961)
50. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
49. Intolerance (1916)
48. Rear Window (1954)
47. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
46. It Happened One Night (1934)
45. Shane (1953)
44. The Philadelphia Story (1940)
43. Midnight Cowboy (1969)
42. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
41. King Kong (1933)
40. The Sound of Music (1965)
39. Dr. Strangelove (1964)
38. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
37. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
36. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1941)
35. Annie Hall (1977)
34. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
33. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Next (1975)
32. The Godfather, Part II (1974)
31. The Maltese Falcon (1941)
30. Apocalypse Now (1979)
29. Double Indemnity (1944)
28. All About Eve (1950)
27. High Noon (1952)
26. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
25. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
24. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
23. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
22. Some Like it Hot (1959)
21. Chinatown (1974)
20. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)
19. On the Waterfront (1954)
18. The General (1927)
17. The Graduate (1967)
16. Sunset Blvd (1950)
15. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
14. Psycho (1960)
13. Star Wars (1977)
12. The Searchers (1956)
11. City Lights (1931)
10. Wizard of Oz (1939)
9. Vertigo (1958)
8. Schindler’s List (1993)
7. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
6. Gone with the Wind (1939)
5. Singing in the Rain (1952)
4. Raging Bull (1980)
3. Casablanca (1942)
2. The Godfather (1972)
1. Citizen Kane (1941)

Formatting of list was stolen (haha) from CinemaBlend

The full top 10 list

Personally I love the list and have always loved the lists FSR. Sin City is most deserving of there top spot, freaking great movie. Although I am unsure if 300 should be below Mystery Men as I found Mystery Men to be one of the worst movies of all time.

2. “Spider Man” series

By the time “Spider-Man” came out in 2002, the special effects had caught up to the vision of the comics. Instead of putting a director’s arrogant spin on an existing character, Sam Raimi worked to make an exciting movie that followed the source material as closely as it could. And when he changed anything, like making Spidey’s web fluid part of his mutation, it was actually for the better.

1. Sin City

Robert Rodriguez defied logic and the DGA to prove to the world that comic books can be adapted faithfully to film. Using Frank Miller’s graphic novels as storyboards for the film, Rodriguez made the market-standard for comic-book adaptations. “Sin City” is still one of the most unique, stylized and brilliant films of the decade.

10. Indiana Jones

Okay. I’m going to hear he was a super badass who constantly won. First off, without his whip, he dies early in a lot of movies. Relying on a prop really kills your badass-ititude, even for Indy. Plus, if there is a female in a 30 mile radius, he’ll forget about your fight and drop his zipper like a bitch. So, whip-less I’d just like to punch him in the face. Plus the whole act was overdone, and it just seemed like all the jocks in high school put him in his locker. Reason enough to keep the stereotype going. No teacher should be a badass without totally getting his world rocked. My right hand could be the deliverance of such.

9. Jackie Chan

Back in the day, I’d not come near this dude with a 40 foot pole. Jackie Chan went pansy in this movie. I totally would fight him in this movie. Anyone who dances with Chris Tucker needs punched in the face anyways. If you take away the super kung-fu of Chan, he is a horrible actor. So for that reason alone, ruining a whole catalog of movies, I’d want to fight him. Plus, like I said, he dances like a fool and tries to fit in. It just never works and he acts like a puss the whole time.

Top 10 Movie Badasses I’d Fight

Spider Man 3

After finally being able to find a balance between being Spider-Man, and spending time with Mary-Jane Watson, Peter Parker begins to feel secure in his life. One night, Peter finds his costume has changed; it’s now black, with the ability to enhance his powers. Bringing out the darker, more vengeful side, the suit begins to influence Peter. After becoming more egotistical, Peter makes a decision to abandon the suit. Also, two new villains, Sandman and Venom, arrive in New York with overpowering abilities.

28 Weeks Later…

In 2003, just seven months (28 weeks) after the Rage virus infection annihilated Great Britain, the U.S. Army has restored order and is repopulating the quarantined city of London. A carrier of the Rage infection enters London and re-ignites the deadly plague.

Shrek the Third

Shrek the Third has Shrek and Fiona watching over their kingdom of Far Far Away, now that King Harold is a frog. When King Harold falls ill, Shrek and Fiona determine that if they can find a suitable heir to the throne of Far Far Away and bring him back, they can leave their current lifestyles behind and return to their swamp. The most promising candidate for the position of king is Fiona’s younger cousin, Arthur (Artie) who proves to be much more of a problem than Shrek, Donkey, and Puss had bargained for.

Ocean’s Thirteen

When Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould) makes the mistake of building a hotel with one of Las Vegas’ most hated businessmen, Willy Banks (Al Pacino), he gets cut out of the deal and ends up in the hospital after a heart attack. Danny Ocean (George Clooney) tries to help his old friend out by giving Banks a chance to restore Reuben’s share of the hotel, but Banks dismisses him without any regard.

Six months later, with Banks’ investment thriving as the richest hotel in the city and the ultimate spot for high rollers, Ocean and his crew decide to bring him down. With the help of their former nemesis, casino owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), who is also out to settle the score against Banks, his fierce rival, they scheme to find a way to bankrupt Banks on his casino’s opening night. This time, they are not in it for the money, but rather for revenge.

Transformers

In the Arctic Circle during the 1800s, Captain Archibald Witwicky falls into an abyss and lands on a robotic hand partially buried in the ice. He finds the eyes of Decepticon leader Megatron staring back at him, who burns a map showing the location of the life giving Allspark into Witwicky’s eyeglasses. These are handed down to his descendant, Sam, in the present day. Elsewhere, Decepticon Blackout attacks a United States Air Force base in Qatar in the present day, grabbing and absorbing information from a computer whilst he destroys the base and deploys Scorponok.

Scorponok chases Captain Lennox and his Special Ops team in the desert and in a village. Lennox then makes a phone call to The Pentagon, who send a jet to fight off the Decepticon. Sam Witwicky buys his first car, which happens to be the Autobot Bumblebee. Bumblebee helps Sam to gain Mikaela as his girlfriend. The Autobots come looking for Archibald’s glasses, whilst hiding in Sam’s yard, and the nefarious Sector 7 comes to invade Sam’s house. The film eventually concludes with a battle that begins at the Hoover Dam and concludes in Los Angeles as Autobot leader Optimus Prime and Megatron face each other.

I warn you, some of the pictures and even descriptions are graphic. I am going to quote some of the more mainstream movies, so please only continue if you are truly interested in this list.

I spit on your Grave (1978)

This exploitative, X-rated (later released in an R-rated version) notorious gang rape/vigilante revenge splatter-horror film was banned outright in many countries (for its misogynistic theme), and vilified by critics. Its theme of violent revenge placed it in the category of filthy and debased exploitation film (masquerading as an anti-rape diatribe), and reviewers such as Ebert and Siskel (who described the unrated version as vile garbage) attempted to have the film pulled from theaters.

It told how NY writer Jennifer Hill (Camille Keaton, grand-niece of Buster Keaton) rented a remote and woodsy, lakeside dwelling for the summer. After skinny-dipping – she was confronted and repeatedly raped by four men (Eron Tabor, Anthony Nichols, Gunther Kleeman, and Richard Pace) in a graphic, long and violent sequence (40 minutes) that was particularly uncomfortable to watch. Afterwards, she visited a church to ask for forgiveness before the brutal and bloody counter-assault she had planned, followed by the scenes of her angry (yet seductive) revenge against each of the four attackers: a hanging, a lethal bloodletting castration seductively conducted nude in a bathtub with a conveniently-placed knife, an axing, and a disembowelment with an outboard boat motor.

Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer (1986)

John McNaughton’s realistic, disturbing “fictional dramatizaton”, his directorial debut film shot in 4 weeks on a budget of about $100,000, was based on the confessions of famed, pathological, ‘real-life’ convicted serial killer Henry Lee Lucas (played by Michael Rooker in his feature film debut), who ended up on death row in Texas. The grisly horror-slasher film’s detached and amoral documentary style and tone of filming enhanced each brutal, gory and violent killing (15 in the film) by the murderer, first viewed as a series of grotesque tableaux.

There were numerous sickening, brutally-violent cinema-verite off-screen and on-screen murders by psychotic murderer Henry, including the death of a young woman left disemboweled and lying in a ditch, and shots-to-the-heads of a storeowner couple (Elizabeth and Ted Kaden), a prostitute (Mary Demas) killed in a bathroom with a broken soda bottle in her face, and especially the beating, torture, sexual assault, and killing of a helpless family in their suburban home – and then afterwards, the viewing (and re-viewing) of the grainy, unfocused, and poorly-photographed account of the crime shot on videotape by murderers Henry and his prison buddy Otis (Tom Towles).

It was so controversial that it was given an X-rating, and had very limited release in the US. Due to a ratings controversy with the MPAA, its release was held up for a few years. Its release was delayed until 1993 in the UK and even then, two minutes of the film’s violent content was spliced out. An uncut version of the movie was eventually allowed for video release in 2003.

The Most Controversial Movies of All-Time (link)